back frm band camp ler... although ytd i slept for less dan 4 hrs.. i aint tired... wahhas.. tonight shall not slp as much oso...

"I'll be contented just to be able to see you with a smile on your face. I'm sorry I did not spend as much time with you. Sorry."

band camp is well tiring... intensive practise mahx LOLX. hmm shall not elaborate more on the day activities cos itx mostly sectionals and combine... games were erm OKAY la...

Straight to nightwalk bahx...My grp consisted of... Casey. Jin Hong. Xue Ying. Yan Yi. Wan Shan. Crystal. I paired with casey and jh was alone cos odd no. btw me and casey are so DAM lucky..
LOLX

1. Firx station is innosphere. Jh went solo worx ! whee ! lolx... We went 2nd floor. cos no tym for 3rd floor le... Go up dere supposed to take light stick... and dhen me and casey went into the toilet... LoLX.. then dhey close e door... me and casey were lyk pushing each other to go firx.. station masters tot we seacrhing at the windows dhen oready scared finish le dhen throw in frm door... so we dam lucky lorh ! wahahhas ! we din get scared at all ! whooo ! lolx.

2. Second station is at new block... Amanda wanted to scare us but i knocked her phone dhen e screen cracked sia.. she wans 2 kill me le la ! lolx. we got 7 ppl dhen must split to 4 and 3.. 4 go up classroom "wait". Chan Xi told us to walk into one class room... dhen we were thinking SURE got ppl de... Casey hum ji sia... push me walk front... lolx... we walk till the end tot nothing le... then suddenly... the cupboard opened... i SCREAMED la ! Ee loong lorh ! LOLX. then we were made to walk one more round and then casey was lyk telling me SURE got ppl de... i din believe i tot no one... but to play safe, I pushed the chair at the board at e wall... then true enough... Han Ming came out and then he was like... OUCH! lolx ! so farnie laaa ! after some tym... me and casey had to wait in dere alone... so dam hot la ask dhem on fan oso cannt.. me and casey were lyks inging long gray line and rosa... LOLX... then suddenly a guy came out frm e locker... YAO ZONG sia.. he was lyk.. i was supposed to GRAB ur leg ! but i miss..." we were laughing lyk SIAO okay... SIAO... lolx.. after dat.. once again we two were locked inside... we played chopsticks sia... Then finally our grp members came and got us... afterwards i realised that only me and casey were the only ones who had ppl to scare them... wah lao leh ! not fair !

3. Third station is old block derx. we were supposed to go to 1 CR and then to the fourth floor lighted class room... zhen yi was like bringing us there... then hor... phyllis wrong timing sia... we haven even finish closing the door then she just jump out... diao la... then we went in... we knew there was someone... so hum ji casey push me in fornt dhen we refused to move... Wai Teng cannt ta han le dhen shouted " u wan go anot ! faster laaaa ! " dhen no one scare le LOLX. dam farnie can... Then at fourth floor... 1st door... casey walked firx then nth happened dhen i tot it was okay... then... nicholas just JUMPED out ! i screamed sia ! wth la... then got ppl throw dustbin... spray party spray jump out of windows etc. LOLX. We were supposed to go girls toilet... then casey scared then i make her run there get marker draw our hands then run back... woo ! lolx... casey was fast... hahas ! we went to dda lighted classrm then weng siong drew blue marker on our hands...

4. LAst station is walk lake find cloth... wah lao this one NO ONE at all de lo ! lolx..

election results released le lolx..

kk i dun blog le very sian very tired le... go slp buhhbye... *L
what a crazed fashion of fantasy.Y

backk...

My life is full of downs. ups are scarce here.

I finished with my problem with him... and now... comes another one... PLEASE LET ME OFF... i seriously beg you... please... someone put an end to it...

Yesterday had combine till really late... my section was INAUDIBLE for MOST OF THE TYM..!! nothing much can be heard at all. Got picked on by Mr Wong... my solo... is lyk SHIT... total SHIT... dhen he was lyk playing I reccomend and me and hui qi were struggling cos we cant stand e sharps n flats dam lame lorhs.. he call by class n dhen always pick on sec 2 brass.. haix... he recorded long gray line... firx tym run thru oso sound like SHIT... dhen he pick out parts work on it... i felt so uneasy... i was suppressing my emotions and tears... i wanted 2 cry... but i couldn't in front of so many ppl... after band was so even worse... this was whad i did after Theresa you all can go clear the room by blah blah tym:

1. Hui Qi gave me the forms and the new files she bought to put scores... Wen Rong wanted to have a look so i gave it to him to see...
2. I wanted to keep my instrument but i had to settle band schedule and band camp form firx.. Sheldon went collecting money so i had to gather my section's forms and gif to him... He was bz counting and it ended up dat Li Hui was the one that took the forms frm me... I waited so bloody hell long...
3. I walked back to the riser... when i was about to TOUCH my instrument... Yan Bing came up to me and asked me to help her keep... i tot she was in a rush so i kept for her... and mine too... Just as I was about to bring the cases to the QM room then... Wen rong suddenly asked me.. how you study de...? they say ur studies quite well leh... teach me.. I WAS SO DIAOED... i said by memorising then he walked away le...
4. I brought the instruments to the QM room. I came back and was abt to pack my bag and go.. Wen Rong came up 2 me and said... Sheldon's tuner put liddat not safe... fine so i keep... then he said.. use the box the file came with and blue tack it to the riser, after evry combine just slot the files there... LOLX... He asked ppl to bring back the files and i decided to do it since dhey were not busy... I was the one who brought things back... Then Wen rong said ur father fetch or whad aRHx... i said no and he was lyk DHEN HOW U CARRY BACK... i said just carry lorhs... he scold me sia... say.. NONO ! Yang Fah JIN will scold me de...lolx...
5. I was packing my bag then jiaqi call me... ask me bring in CID stuff... wah lao... i was so pissed le... then when i carried my bag... MX ask me to keep all the stands.. wth... fcked up...

FINALLY CAN GO HOME !

dam tired le think i shuld go slp le... dam tired... haix... (:
what a crazed fashion of fantasy.Y

"why are things so complicated...

why are people so complicated...

why are feelings so complicated..."

things hadn't been going well... is it because i changed? i really dunno.. itx difficult to sustain a life like mine now... i really dunno what to do... i am totally at a loss... things had been happening because of my friends...

i was asked to play maple... so i went... then i played for too long... i came back... saw someone sad... somehow scolded me or something as i was not there... and also because i did not help and made things worse... made life difficult... i mean... my friends and him... how can i choose i really dunno... i m stuck in the centre... i m really lost... LOST...

feel like crying... don't know whad exactly am i supposed 2 to... nothing goes into my head now...

either i care more for him.. or i heck care my friends.. why must i make such a choice...

he has sacrificed for and loved me way too much... so much so that i can never ever repay him with any amount of my time... i cannt lose him...

my friends have gone thru alot wif me... i cannt lose them as well...

neither one can be missing...

if things are so complicated can i just do without both of them? i m at a total loss... i dunno...

i promised not to think of sucidal thoughts... sorry to say i broke the promise... my life is too diffcult for me to sustain... if i cannt stand it... please... dun blame me...

sometimes i just know how 2 counter the situation with SHEER LUCK... if not... i would be a total disappointment... and the latter happens most of the time...

the pressure is rising... many things... i really... really... cannot help and cannt stand it...

i wanna run away... frm evrything... whad i need... whad i wan... i shuld just gif dhem all up... and go back to study study study... life wouldn't be so painful that way...

-my heart cannt take it anymore-
what a crazed fashion of fantasy.Y

back and blogging..

EXAMS are OVER. however it doesnt mean that we can SLACK. cos this is MYE not EOY. LOok at me, do i freaking care? NO. so i m free enough to change the blogskin. wahhas !

feel so mixed up now. Cheryl, Yi Xin, Sheena and Albert go TM play ! bleahX ! i dunno whads wrong wif me larhs. in sch i din feel lyk going anywhr but the thought abt having nth 2 do at home puts things off. dhey sure take neo de. i oso wan but at the same time deres a strong feelin dat doesnt wanna go. i feel bad. i lied 2 cheryl dat my mum din let me go. but i din wanna put her down only. haix. sorry gal really sorry. i owe u 4 guys an apology cos of my STUPID USELESS HORRIBLE self which i m currently giving up hope on. they must be playing now, enjoy yaself guys ! hurhur. wanna cry *sobs* !

hmm.. at dda same tym my results are made KNOWN ! hahas.

dhey are as follow:

As FirX..

English-A1

Maths-A1

Science-A1

Geography-A1

History-A2

DNT-A1

Art-A1

Next, Bs..

Higher Chinese-B3

E. Literature-B3

scored 2 Bs but ppl are dam pissed wif me STILL. cos my Bs din turn into As. dhen ppl say i m siao de. go study so hard dunno for whad.

In my life. To study was actually the only thing i could see myself doing in the future. Until now. i saw the grades i could get under all the stress and pressure that studying was not what i wanted.

I did not know what i wanted. surprisingly it wasn't my trumpet either.

Forget it. Pondering on these don't help. (X

Today got IPPT TRIAL. wah lao leh. dam lame. let us say in the bloody rm for half hour plus. get STUFFED in dere. -.-lll lorhs.

Tml gort FRC. gotta get up early le. nvm i sian le gtg now.

buhhbyes ! <333

what a crazed fashion of fantasy.Y

why is life like that. why does it like to be unfair. WHY.

i hate this.

my results
my dreams
school
friends
family
you

WHY WHY WHY !

i cant stand it much longer. yesterday things started. today it was no better. i felt so sick.

i dunno why. it hurts just about seeing anyone i know. it's like i don't wan to see anyone. but i really need a person to talk to me. and yet. i cant tell that person. i can't tell. i just can't. he has enough problems. and me being so problematic. wouldn't help much.

evrything is just not okay. i wonder if i'd ever recover from this. i dun feel right. i just don't.


-a place, desolated. Where I don't belong. No one cares if i live or die.-
what a crazed fashion of fantasy.Y

hmm i m back frm sch... cheryl dhey all go pull me 2 Day and night larh ! dhen i saw michelle and jing hui ! damn larhs sec 3 end so early for whad larh ! lols... alex came to find cheryl... but hor damn farnie kip suaning albert dhen i kip suaning her and alex... wooo ! wheee ! lols..

Why do people always get things other can never even think of getting. Why?


today is so not nice... din finish my maths and lit was just average.. haix.. my mye is e end... tot after sch would be better.. but i was rather wrong... i din really wan 2 have fun wif alex dhey all.. itx just dat i m forced 2 laugh..nvm.. dhen e only tym dhat was okay was when i went 2 talk 2 michelle... after dat it was no better... on e bus i felt lyk crying out loud... but dunno why i show until so happy... nvm larhs.... he wasnt happy abt his bio.. i dun have e heart 2 be sad larhs...

nvm... shall go n slack till 5 dhen jiayous le..

-i need alot more. i guess i wun be able 2 get it.-
what a crazed fashion of fantasy.Y

Rachel.Tan.Y

Born on 271092, previously in CCPS(5Hum&6Hum), is currently slogging her intestines out at chung cheng high school main, strongly in LOVE with 4respect08. She is in the concert band, she adores trumpet section& band comm07-08. She wants to grow up faster, random at times. She loves chocolates, but she just hankers after bitter ones. Dont try to steal 'em from her, she'll go catankerous. She wants her Olvls to end fast with A1s so she can have fun fun fun& more fun. She wants a bike when she grows up& not a car. She badly craves for a new phone& more skating sessions right now.! She games a bit from time to time& watches anime! Sunsets, Sunrises& Sunflowers are her love! Not forgetting my HAWT BLACK RABBIT. ;DD
On the whole, if you'd just love her, she'd love you too. Y

Most importantly,
SEXY TRUMPET SECTION ROCKS!


4rp08(: . Trumpet Section((: . Rochelle . Jingyi . Gloria . Alyssa . XiaoQi . Debi . YiXin . Ashlyn . Wilmer . HuiYing . Celeste . Yongyi . Linli . BaoFang . Eunice . Renee . Clara . Rachael . Wenrong . JingHui . Sisui . Sandy . Geoffery . Germaine . Xinyu . Zoe . Derrick .


03/2006 - 04/2006
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Currently soundless. Putting it up soon. ((:


brushes
the rest is by yours truly.
iHATErippers. ((: