"why are things so complicated...

why are people so complicated...

why are feelings so complicated..."

things hadn't been going well... is it because i changed? i really dunno.. itx difficult to sustain a life like mine now... i really dunno what to do... i am totally at a loss... things had been happening because of my friends...

i was asked to play maple... so i went... then i played for too long... i came back... saw someone sad... somehow scolded me or something as i was not there... and also because i did not help and made things worse... made life difficult... i mean... my friends and him... how can i choose i really dunno... i m stuck in the centre... i m really lost... LOST...

feel like crying... don't know whad exactly am i supposed 2 to... nothing goes into my head now...

either i care more for him.. or i heck care my friends.. why must i make such a choice...

he has sacrificed for and loved me way too much... so much so that i can never ever repay him with any amount of my time... i cannt lose him...

my friends have gone thru alot wif me... i cannt lose them as well...

neither one can be missing...

if things are so complicated can i just do without both of them? i m at a total loss... i dunno...

i promised not to think of sucidal thoughts... sorry to say i broke the promise... my life is too diffcult for me to sustain... if i cannt stand it... please... dun blame me...

sometimes i just know how 2 counter the situation with SHEER LUCK... if not... i would be a total disappointment... and the latter happens most of the time...

the pressure is rising... many things... i really... really... cannot help and cannt stand it...

i wanna run away... frm evrything... whad i need... whad i wan... i shuld just gif dhem all up... and go back to study study study... life wouldn't be so painful that way...

-my heart cannt take it anymore-
what a crazed fashion of fantasy.Y

Rachel.Tan.Y

Born on 271092, previously in CCPS(5Hum&6Hum), is currently slogging her intestines out at chung cheng high school main, strongly in LOVE with 4respect08. She is in the concert band, she adores trumpet section& band comm07-08. She wants to grow up faster, random at times. She loves chocolates, but she just hankers after bitter ones. Dont try to steal 'em from her, she'll go catankerous. She wants her Olvls to end fast with A1s so she can have fun fun fun& more fun. She wants a bike when she grows up& not a car. She badly craves for a new phone& more skating sessions right now.! She games a bit from time to time& watches anime! Sunsets, Sunrises& Sunflowers are her love! Not forgetting my HAWT BLACK RABBIT. ;DD
On the whole, if you'd just love her, she'd love you too. Y

Most importantly,
SEXY TRUMPET SECTION ROCKS!


4rp08(: . Trumpet Section((: . Rochelle . Jingyi . Gloria . Alyssa . XiaoQi . Debi . YiXin . Ashlyn . Wilmer . HuiYing . Celeste . Yongyi . Linli . BaoFang . Eunice . Renee . Clara . Rachael . Wenrong . JingHui . Sisui . Sandy . Geoffery . Germaine . Xinyu . Zoe . Derrick .


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Currently soundless. Putting it up soon. ((:


brushes
the rest is by yours truly.
iHATErippers. ((: