Tuesday, August 29, 2006Y
back and blogging, GREAT now the damn pic wun come out ! ahhhS ! well nvm. i m kinda addicted to drawing pics at fotoshop lurrX LOLX.
today wasnt so good either.
dun mind me but i got another quite pissed off post. hahas.
today's chi test was erm. SOSO. wasnt dat gd. anyway today's FRC was HORRIBLE. cos MY SECT WAS OUTTA TUNE and SHELDON wasnt there to SAVE the DAY. imagine how we died wif all e outta tune crap.
dhen lessons were lyk e same? just that i din wanna speak tu yx. i was still kinda angry wif her and her rash decisions today made me SUPER angry. went out wif ashlyn evrywhr. couldnt think of how and why were ppl liddat.
during hwk period cheryl said lit meeting and rehearsal after sch. dhen yx sort of din want it or wad. itx lyk she's so STRESSED up. i agree la dhat sometyms life is VERY stressful but dun cha think itx oready too exaggerating to be stressed evry second, min and hr of e day? dhen she was lyk anything la.
AFTER A WHILE,
she said she dun wan go lit she wanna do zzjsj. FINE. i din say anything cos of official reasons that i was for the class and that cheryl and e rest would rehearse. WHO KNOWS, the guys wanna go play lan. dhen YX being e firx tymer at lan wanted to go and totally din care abt thinngs. i can tell that she was just trying to get herself outta all e frustrating shyt but lemme tell ya this,
RUNNING AWAY WUN SOLVE YOR PROBLEMS OKAY. FACE IT. ITX MESSY AND DO SMTH ABT IT.
and cheryl just went along widd her. so well i was so dam fucking pissed i went home. i couldnt stand it la.
getting angry cos i din turn up on sat is NOT AN EXCUSE to ME. i have SCH STUFF. wad cha wan me 2 do ?
PON? for LIT? hahahas. OVER my DEAD body will i do it. yu can say ANYTHING. i dun gif a shyt abt it.
yu ask me pon, AS IF my CCA not IMPORTANT LIDDAT. yu lehh? one shooting exercise, NO CANNT MUST GO. yu think others lyk it to pon izit? cant yu just put urselves in others' shoes and THINK?
since lit is so fucked up, DUN DO larhs. doubt yu even MIND if we fail for our CA2.
yu can even go play LAN lur why cant yu just heckc are e marks eh?
forget it. enough of this shyt.
hanged out wif ashlyn for whoel day. wanted to kope POSTCARDS. however i din manage to.
i noticed smth. evryone still crowded ard dear her. can tell. the privilege still exits very PROMINENTLY.
she din gif a dam abt me. she din bother neither did she care that i was sitting at the back crying my eyes out or wat. i felts o stupid today. UTTERLY stupid. i was feeling so painful in my heart to e extent that i wanted to gouge it out. it was so not worth it. she was still e same. feeling STRESSED and not giving a shyt abt others.
do ppl even noe the feeling of NEGLECTION.
i'm telling myself. I HAVE NO ONE NOW. only dear ashlynn. and trust me, this will continue on.
ppl dun understand or mayb they have felt it before and now that they have loads of frens wid them that dhey dun even REMEMBER the feeling. dhen let ME tell yu, it feels bloody fcking HORRIBLE. ((X
doubt yu'd even noe or realised that i was feeling so sick in myself. i wanted to dig myself inside out. yu din notice yu din care.
yu gave me EVRYTHING.
NOW,
yu took away EVRYTHING.
yu shuld be happi and satisfied now.
pardon me for the horrible post.
hope yu all(whoever that reads it),
think abt it and reflect on ur actions towards others.
i m not asking for sympathy or wad frm yu guys.
i just DUN WANT others to feel the same way i do.
i noe itx horrible,
spare a thought for them.
dhey may refuse to say it out but deep down,
they feel empty,
left out,
cold,
lonely.
think abt that.
and to yx if yu ever read,
think abt it. i m not rly scolding yu or wad.
i just feel the unfairness.
hope yu would understand.
i dun mind if yu continue being angry.
-care, love, have compassion for each other. ((X-
what a crazed fashion of fantasy.Y